Men: Why You Should Treat Women Like Dogs

Posted by on Mar 10, 2016 in Blog, For Guys | 0 comments

Men: Why You Should Treat Women Like Dogs

Why Men Should Treat Women Like Dogs:
Thirteen Tips for a Great Relationship

Men frequently tell me they don’t understand what women want from men. Since men and women often approach things very differently, and use different language, it can be difficult to communicate to a man, in his own terms, what a woman wants from a man.

The man I’m involved with recently got a new puppy. He is a good doggie Dad. As I’ve been watching him with this new dog, it occurred to me that the keys to raising a dog well are remarkably similar to those for creating and maintaining a healthy, happy  romantic relationship.

Now, of course, I’m not suggesting that men should think of women as “dogs.” Also, the truth is that a man may feel more committed to his dog than he does to his relationship. After all, a man usually gets a dog with the expectation that he will be with that dog for its entire life. He may not enter a romantic relationship with the same certainty or expectation.

However, for as long as a man is in any particular relationship, many of the principles for making it successful are like the principles for raising dogs well. Here are a few of those essentials:

  1. Feed them every day, and make sure water is available to them all the time
  2. Pet them often and give them attention
  3. Give them treats, especially when they do something you appreciate-
    and sometimes just because it makes them wag their tails
  4. Never give more attention to other dogs than you do to your own
  5. Go on walks, get exercise, play together, and have some fun.
  6. Give them time to play with other dogs
  7. Be grateful they are there to greet you when you come home, and show them you’re happy to see them
  8. Speak to them in a friendly tone of voice most of the time – and make it short when you need to speak sternly
  9. Don’t make them wait too long when they need to get rid of doggie waste – you may not be happy with the results!
  10. Notice when they don’t feel good, and do something about it
  11. Don’t let anyone else take better care of them than you do
  12. Take them with you when you can, and go on road trips often
  13. When you leave, pet them and tell them when you’ll be back

If a man treats his dog this way, he’ll have a happy, healthy, loyal, loving dog.

 

Ok, now let’s check out the parallels in relationship terms.

 

  1. Feed them every day, and make sure water is available to them all the time

A relationship, just like a dog, needs nourishment every day to thrive.

You wouldn’t forget to feed your dog for several days, and expect it to be doing well when you finally came around, would you? Most dogs get fed twice a day. If a relationship receives nourishment at least once a day – and better yet, twice a day, morning and night, that gets you off to a good running start.

So, what is “nourishment for a relationship? It can be simple – a kiss, a smile, a hug, a text, an email, or a phone call – making a connection that shows you care and gives her some idea of what is happening in your life. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time or even energy. It just means you are engaged and connected – and it can become part of a routine, like feeding your dog every morning and evening.

Dogs also need to have water available to them to stay healthy and feel safe.

What does this equate to in relationship terms? Most women need to feel that their sweetheart is there for them if something important happens and they want to “check in.” That something important could be exciting or happy – or difficult. Often responding when a woman wants to “check in,” especially in the middle of a work day, doesn’t need to take a lot of time or energy. It can be a quick text or email, with an appropriate response to the situation (which is often “that’s great!” or “so sorry!”) and the intention to connect more about it when there’s time.

  1. Pet them often and give them attention

Women, like dogs, need physical affection and attention. (Don’t you?)

Hugs and kisses are great. Listening is great. You don’t have to do it constantly. But, like with dogs, you do need to do it regularly – usually daily when you are in the same place – or else your dog – or your sweetheart – will soon feel rejected and sad.

 

  1. Give them treats, especially when they do something you appreciate- but sometimes just because it makes them wag their tails

Women, like dogs, feel good when you notice they did something you like. Show your appreciation! Women also like surprise “treats” for no reason, just because you want to make them happy. This feels very “romantic” and is fun.

I bet you like it when women show they care about and appreciate you!

What constitutes a “treat” for your dog, may not be a “treat” for you. For example, I never met a dog who didn’t like to chew on a smelly shoe… So, give your dog the “treats” that are meaningful to the dog – and give your sweetheart the “treats” that are meaningful to her.

Gary Chapman’s five “love languages” can help you know what might be a “treat” for your sweetheart. The principles of the five love languages are actually quite similar for dogs, men and women, although the specifics differ for each group:

Words of affirmation (Like saying “good dog” to a dog – or telling a woman you love her, or think she looks pretty.)

Acts of service (Like taking your dog to the dog park – or helping your sweetheart fix a problem on her computer.)

Quality time  (Like going for a walk with your dog – or sitting with your sweetheart and having a conversation.

Receiving Gifts (Like giving your dog a squeakie toy – or giving your sweetheart flowers, which is a classic symbol of love and affection.

Physical Touch (Like petting your dog – or hugging or making love to your sweetheart.)

What does your lady, in particular, like?

 

  1. Never give more attention to other dogs than you do to your own

Dogs often get jealous if an owner gives other dogs more attention.

Women are the same way about a man giving other women more attention. Wouldn’t you feel jealous if your sweetheart gave another man or other men more attention than she was giving to you?

So, although you can’t help looking, because you are, after all, a hot-blooded guy, try not to watch attractive women obviously when you’re with your sweetheart – to flirt with them in front of her – to talk about how pretty or wonderful other women are in front of her without also acknowledging her – or even to stay wrapped in conversation with another woman while your sweetheart is there without including her in the conversation. If you do this, she is likely to feel sad – and not very respected or appreciated in the relationship. You would probably feel the same if the situation were reversed.

  1. Go on walks, get exercise, play together, and have some fun

Dogs and owners need time to bond physically, and to enjoy each other’s company.

Women and men in relationship are the same way. Sex is not only an opportunity to experience great pleasure, it’s an important form of bonding without words, and an avenue for being physical, playing, and expressing care for each other. Learn how to make love to your sweetheart so that she feels physically satisfied, as well as accepted and safe emotionally and physically.

Going on walks together is always good, because physical movement facilitates connection and helps a conversation flow. Getting other forms of exercise together helps you burn off stress, from within and outside of the relationship, and connect without words. Having new experiences together out in the world is stimulating and keeps things fun and interesting. Playing and joking are also critical parts of a happy relationship.

 

  1. Give them time to play with other dogs

Dogs need doggie playmates that can run and tussle with them. Don’t you need guy friends with whom you can hang out  and do guy things?

Women need time with girlfriends when no men are around. Your relationship will be better if your sweetheart has time away from you for her own life, hobbies, and friends.

 

  1. Be grateful they are there to greet you when you come home, and show them that you’re happy to see them

Dogs are loyal and wait for you. Don’t you appreciate that?

A loyal partner is the same. If a woman is pledging her loyalty to you, show your appreciation each time you see her, that she is still there for you, and not going off with someone else. Give her a hug and a kiss when you see her. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time or thought.

Don’t you like it when a woman is loyal to you, and expresses her pleasure in seeing you when you’ve been apart?

 

  1. Speak to them in a friendly tone of voice most of the time – and make it short when you need to speak sternly

Dogs that get yelled at or spoken to harshly a lot are nervous and anxious, which is not healthy.

Don’t you feel anxious and on-guard when people speak to you in a harsh, angry, blaming, or critical tone of voice? Doesn’t it make you want to be somewhere else?

You can’t be perfect all the time. No one expects you to be. But, as the old saying goes, treat others as you would like to be treated. This is especially true for your sweetheart. Speak to her kindly, in general – and if you have something on your mind that is bothering you, try not to take it out on her. If you need to talk to her about something she is doing that is bothering you, speak as simply and directly as you can. As Stephen Covey says, “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.”

 

  1. Don’t make them wait long when they need to get rid of doggie waste – you may not be happy with the results!

When dogs need to poop or pee, they can only hold it for so long – then they have to go wherever they happen to be, and this can be awkward or distasteful, and create permanent damage.

When a woman needs to talk to you about something that is bothering her – either in her own life, or in the relationship – she can only hold it so long. If you avoid her, it may come out in a way that is untimely, unpleasant, and harmful.

It’s understandable if you don’t enjoy criticism, conflict, or “serious conversations.” However, avoiding necessary discussions doesn’t solve problems. The expression “that which you resist, persists” is relevant here. So, if a woman asks to talk to you about something, find a good time and place, listen, stay as neutral as you can, and make an effort to resolve the situation if possible.

 

  1. Notice when your dog doesn’t feel good, and do something about it.

If a dog is acting out of sorts, there is always a reason, even if you don’t understand the reason. If a dog has a thorn stuck in its paw, it will keep limping until the thorn is removed.

If a woman is acting out of sorts, physically or emotionally, there is always a reason. The reason may not be “your fault” or indeed, have anything to do with you – even if she thinks it does. It could be something from her past that is being triggered.  What is really bothering her may not be what she thinks or says is bothering her. However, if she feels bothered, it’s always the case that something “real” is bothering her, even if it’s from the past rather than the present.

You thinking she “shouldn’t” feel a certain way will not make it go away. You can listen for the reason – or the reason behind the stated reason  – and often find a way to help her move past the moment.  Of course, if it is her issue to deal with from the past, she may also need to do some personal work to get a handle on the situation.

 

  1. Don’t let anyone else take better care of them than you do

If a dog is getting better food or treatment from someone else, eventually it may not want to be your dog any longer.

The same is true of a woman. If a woman is getting more attention, affection, sex, understanding, appreciation, or care from another man or men, you can’t expect her to stick around forever.

If you’ve ever lost a pet who wandered off when you were gone a lot, or didn’t give it enough attention, you’ll know what I’m talking about. This is a painful lesson.

Be the man who treats his sweetheart better than any other man, and she’s likely to want to stay with you.

If she doesn’t, it’s not your fault, there’s nothing you can do, and maybe it’s not the right match for you anyway!

 

 

  1. Take them with you when you can, and go on road trips often

The people I know who have the best relationships with their dogs take their dogs with them a lot.

You can’t take your dog with you everywhere. But if you plan ahead, you can take your dog with you to more places than you might think.

Similarly, your sweetheart is having her own life – and a lot of the time the two of you will need to be apart to do what you need to do. That includes work, friends, and other responsibilities. Sometimes your separate lives will keep you apart for weeks or months. The two of you need space as well – It’s not healthy for lovers to be Siamese twins, attached at the hip.

But if you don’t share your life, on a regular basis, in significant ways, what will keep you together?

So find ways to share the little things, and be together regularly – even when you are taking care of your respective responsibilities, just as you would with a dog that rides shotgun with you in the truck as you go about your errands.

Also, the people I know who are close with their dogs, take their dogs with them on road trips.

You and your sweetheart need to be able to get away together on a regular basis, to leave it all behind, and experience new adventures together. Road trips and other journeys are good for that.

 

  1. When you leave, pet them and tell them when you’ll be back

When you must leave dogs behind, it helps if you pet them, reassure them, and let them know when you’ll be back.

They say that dogs can learn hundreds of words. I know smart dogs who have a general understanding of what it means when their owners tell them when they’ll return. I’ve also seen dogs become anxious when their owners return late.

When you part from your sweetheart, it’s reassuring for her if you give her some rough idea of when you will see or speak with her again, as well as offer some sign of affection, such as a hug or a kiss.

Of course, sometimes you just need “some space” for whatever reason, and don’t exactly know when you’ll be ready to be back in touch.  If that’s your situation, let her know that’s what’s happening – and reassure her that you will indeed, be back presently. If you don’t realize it in the moment, you can tell her by email or text once you do realize it.

Many women have had the experience of men suddenly disappearing from their lives without a word or an explanation (“ghosting” them), including men they’ve been romantically involved with for months or years. As you can perhaps imagine if the shoe were on the other foot, this can be extremely disturbing and make a person skittish in future relationships. If you let your sweetie know you plan to be back presently it will help her feel more comfortable.

Just like a dog that is not sure whether or not you will continue to feed it, a woman who often feels anxious about whether you are coming back may not be inclined to stick around for very long

If you need space and let her know you’ll be back presently, she can go about her life until you turn up again, and not be waiting to make plans with you, or wondering whether you are ok.

 

In Summary…

If you are a dog owner, these things probably come naturally to you with your dog.

Why not draw from what you do naturally with your dog to create and maintain a healthy relationship with a woman?

Dogs need nourishment, physical affection, safety, attention, play, fun, exercise, care when they’re not feeling well, and adventure. In these ways, men and women are both like dogs. You are not so different from each other after all!

If you treat a woman at least as well as you treat a dog you love, you’ll be well on your way to a great relationship.

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